Rockhunter, Issue 23, 20 September 2006

Gaiety Riot
Well, the rumours are true. No more Bad Promoter!! The Miltonian Satan of Provincial Punk (That’s me!! — Ed.) has convinced the Only True Descendent of the Counter-Culture, and Favourite Child of the Lord of Rock ‘n’ Roll, that if his Heavenly Master had not intended him to escape the Hellish oubliette of Ignorance and Decency, he would have heightened the walls and strengthened the chains. Book One, Paradise Lost. It’ll not take ye’s long to get up to speed.

In short, me and Jim “Sonic” Smith, the Winking Uncle and Shepherd of Local Rock ‘n Roll, the once notorious übersexual self-styled “Jism Magnate”, who it’s rumoured once piped his excess white man-gravy straight into the national spunk grid, have come to an understanding.

He’s carving out a new role for himself as a stubborn stain on Brighton’s young-obssessed, at-all-costs positive, brand-aware face. It’s all about expressing creative individuality… yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The reply of all-knowing upness shuts down negative discourse in return, or slams the backdoor to relight ignorance, feigning comradeship — indeed, for all friendship is a discursive masking.

Anyway, Smithy’s bringing it back to the people, like Kurtz would’ve done, had he been a real person rather than a fiction.  Having escaped incarceration in the prison of synchrony, if only he can avoid the pull of the sunlit uplands of state capitalist propaganda, Kim Jong-Il style, we should be seeing some interesting post-ironic developments in the Brighton undercurrent before too long.

I, for my part, have retired from the slow-mo gak-ridden chum-bucket they call Brighton’s clubland. I’m getting back. You’ll find me listening to music for pleasure. Not conspicuously in public!! It’s pleasure and beauty all the way from here on in!!!!
Let the DJs bury the dead sounds! Jim Smith, I salute you!!!

Meanwhile, in Kemp Town, I prepare for greater understanding in the future!!

Fi!

Ed.

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